Living life to the full

Wendy’s story

My husband Kenny and I were living normal lives together. We were both working full time and would often be like ships passing in the night.

Kenny would often work away from home driving gas tankers, while I had a busy office job. Everything was going fine and, as Kenny was approaching retirement, we decided to go on a cruise around Australia. But it wasn’t long into the trip that I realised something wasn’t right.

We had been travelling quite a bit during the trip, crossing time zones, but not so much that you would lose track. I remember Kenny opened the wardrobe one day and asked me where we were going. He couldn’t decide what to wear and it was clear he didn’t know if it was day or night. He also never got to grips with finding his way around the ship, even simple things like going from the room to the lift.

We both agreed he should get checked out when we got back home. It took almost two years, but Kenny was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2023.

I was devastated because Kenny had only just turned 65 and I was 57. We were looking forward to retirement and it just didn’t seem fair. I had also helped care for my mum after she was diagnosed with dementia and knew how tough it could be.

All Kenny said to me after his diagnosis was “I’ll never forget who you are” and “I’ll always remember I love you”.

His dementia is progressing quickly but I’m determined to live life as well as we can and to make the most of the time we have. We’ve been on two more cruises since the Australia trip, and we have another one coming up soon. Kenny loves it and is really looking forward to it. I’ve found that a cruise is actually a safe place for him to be. If we stick to smaller ships, and if I carry his pass, then he can’t go too far without me.

We just do our best to muddle through – that’s all you can do. Whenever something changes with Kenny’s condition, you just find a new way to do things and keep going. Our children are very good at stepping in to help and we love to spend time with the grandchildren. Kenny is very laid back, which helps.

I saw Alzheimer Scotland’s Edinburgh Memory Walk on Facebook and thought it would be a nice thing to do as a family. It also gave Kenny an opportunity to meet other people living with dementia, so he knows he’s not on his own.

It’s all in aid of a great cause that’s very close to our hearts. Dementia affects so many people and we’re happy to be able to support the amazing work that Alzheimer Scotland does.